Thursday, August 23, 2012

Back From the Dead

I am sorry that I have not posted for a number of months. I have been involved with a number of activities, some pleasant, some not.

In February I was hit by a car while walking from the library to the shelter. My right shoulder was dislocated and 3 ligaments in my right knee were torn (my doctor used the term 'gone').

Wake Med put my shoulder back in place, however I was unable to move my right arm to any degree without excruciating pain. I was also unable to walk on my right leg.

I spent two months recuperating at the shelter, and only occasionally was I let out to go to the library to check my email. I either rode in or pushed a wheelchair. I accumulated all kinds of hospital bills.

After two months, I received the only settlement I could from the insurance company that represented the girl that hit me. The hospital bills accumulated to over $100,000, and the settlement was for $30,000. Of that, my lawyer got $7,000, the hospital and other medical companies got $11,550, and I got the rest.

Now, before I go on, let me state that I went over my options for using the money with a great deal of care.

1. I could have paid some of my bills, including a student loan that has persisted for more than 20 years. But that would have meant staying in the shelter, since I had no other income.

2. I could have put it toward Project Five-Star. This was an interesting choice, since I've been asking you to donate for some time. I gave this serious thought, but in the end, I said no, because there was simply not enough money left to do everything I wanted to do.

3. I could have found a nice place to live and simply spent my time searching for a job. The problem is, my arm and leg were still damaged and I felt my ability to find a job had been seriously curtailed.

4. I could have used the money for dental work, which I think is one reason why I haven't found a job. I gave that very serious consideration.

5. I could have invested the money in the stock market. I gave that some thought. Very risky for one so inexperienced, though.

6. I could have used the money to fulfill a dream I had started before the accident, a self-employment attempt I call 'Mike's News Hangout.' The idea was to travel the country, paying special attention to baseball parks, and shoot video of people and things that people might find interesting, and then post the video on Youtube.

With all my choices before me, I weighed what would be the best thing for me? I was selfish. I had been in that shelter more than a year, and stuck in convalescence for two months. I was sick to death of the shelter. I was sick to death of Raleigh, for that matter. I wanted to travel, I wanted to be my own boss, even though I had only $11,550 to spend.

My knee had healed to the point where I could walk, wearing a brace, painfully, slowly. My shoulder was worse, but the pain was less, even if I couldn't move the arm much.

For 3 months, I moved out of the shelter, still technically homeless in my mind, because I had no permanent place to live. I rented a car (big mistake, I should have bought one) and traveled the country. I saw my daughter for the first time in 8 years. I saw 6 baseball games. I recorded hundreds of hours of video and posted it on Youtube.

My knee got better, my shoulder less painful, but still not very mobile. I was really starting to have fun for the first time in years.

Then the money started to run out. Yes, $11,550 gone in 3 months. Some spent on equipment, some spent on motels, some spent renting the car, some spent on gas and tolls. I would not call it splurging, but rather investing. My Youtube account makes money. Not much money, but it does make something. I had a dream of going to every Major League ballpark and shooting video of the fans and some action, and then making a documentary. That dream has not diminished, but reality has come crashing back down.

I am back in Raleigh (I had to turn the car in there) and back in the shelter. I've had to start over in the program and wait my turn to get back into it. I've spent some nights 'in the rough,' sleeping where I can.

Was the money wasted? Some might think it was, certainly I've been chastised by some, but let's face it, the money I got wasn't nearly enough to do the things I want to do for Project Five-Star. It might have allowed me to live outside the shelter for a time, but the reality is, without a regular job I would have been back in the shelter soon anyway. I took a chance and tried to make something of myself. I don't consider it to be a failure. I may not be making as much money as I'd hoped, but the money is trickling in.

This has all brought me back to where I started: Project Five-Star. The experience has served to remind me that training is the key to moving on. It has served to remind me of the importance of continuous funding, either by donations or our own hard work. Without a steady flow of cash, the project goes nowhere.

And so I'm asking again for donations. I've changed the source for collecting donations, to GoFundMe. We actually received a donation on that site a few days ago, so I consider that a good start. But it's not finished. Over the next few days I will outline what I want to accomplish over the next year.

Project Five-Star is back, with renewed vigor and attention. I have been looking nationally for help, but for right now, I think I need to concentrate my fund-raising efforts locally. Please consider donating!

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